Toxic leaders. Disengagement. Silos. Accountability issues. Resistance to change. These aren't just behavioral problems—they're symptoms of something deeper that no amount of communication training or conflict resolution workshops will fix.
This webinar strips away the behavioral surface to reveal what's actually driving your people problems: chronic self-deception. Every person in your organization carries around self-justifying images of themselves—distorted narratives built over a lifetime of betraying their own sense of what others need. And these images, whether "better than" (I'm smarter, more capable, more deserving) or "worse than" (I'll be found out, I don't belong), become more important than actual results.
Through live demonstration and real case studies, participants discover how these self-justifying images infect every interaction. When someone challenges your idea in a meeting, you don't hear their perspective—you hear a threat to your image. When an employee underperforms, you don't see a person with challenges—you see confirmation that you deserve better people. The result? Collusions—cycles where two people provoke each other into the very behaviors they claim to hate, each needing the other to be blameworthy to maintain their own justification.
The session culminates with the powerful story of Nelson and Judy from the Smithsonian—two colleagues who spent years in open conflict until one phone call, prompted by a moment of self-awareness, began transforming their relationship from adversaries to trusted partners.
Learning Objectives & Key Takeaways
1. Recognize That Behavioral Problems Are Symptoms, Not Root Causes Participants learn that every people problem—disengagement, silos, toxic leadership, resistance to change—is an outgrowth of chronic self-deception. Attempting to fix behavioral symptoms with behavioral solutions (communication training, conflict resolution workshops) just layers performance on top of the real problem and often makes things worse.
2. Identify the Four Self-Justifying Image Styles Driving Dysfunction Participants can recognize how "better than," "I deserve," "worse than," and "need to be seen as" inward styles show up in themselves and others—along with the specific emotions that signal each style is being triggered (frustration, resentment, shame, fear, imposter syndrome, etc.).
3. Understand How Collusions Perpetuate Conflict Participants discover that workplace conflicts are rarely one-sided behavioral problems but mutual cycles where each person provokes the other into blameworthy behavior—because both need the other to be "the problem" to maintain their self-justifying image. This explains why no one can ever identify "where the conflict started."
4. Apply Three Practical Tools to Break the Cycle Participants leave with actionable frameworks:
- Check Your Mindset – Use emotions as red flags signaling a self-justifying image is being threatened
- Meet to Learn – Get outside yourself through genuine curiosity about the other person's challenges and needs
- Meet to Give – Do advance work to understand what life is like for the other person working with you, then bring specific offerings to the conversation
