Book Club

"I stopped giving myself a pass."

That single line from Chris Wallace's story hits like a gut punch. When we justify our poor treatment of others by pointing to their behavior, we're not holding them accountable—we're giving ourselves permission to be the worst version of ourselves. Chris spent years blaming his father for ruining his life until a seventeen-year-old helped him see the truth: "I see people the way I see them because of me."

This session dives into some of the most personally challenging material in The Outward Mindset. Participants share vulnerable stories about fractured family relationships—interracial marriage tensions, estranged parents, colleagues they've written off—and confront an uncomfortable pattern: we claim the moral high ground while ignoring our own contribution to the problem. We become "judge, jury, and executioner" deciding who deserves good treatment.

The conversation shifts to organizational cost. Every person burning energy seeking justification does so at the expense of their contribution. It's time-wasting, silo-creating, and monetarily staggering. But what would "crazy outward" look like? A debt collection company that rewards employees for free services provided rather than debt collected. A corrections system modeled on Norway's "principles of normality" where officers and residents cook and eat together. A technology director rebuilding trust one spoonful at a time after leadership turnover decimated team morale.

The throughline: sustainable success requires relationship excellence as the foundation. Without it, even task excellence stands on feet of clay.