One of the biggest hesitations leaders have when they encounter the Outward Mindset is a practical one:
"I am already overwhelmed. If I start 'seeing the humanity' in every employee, customer, and vendor, and I try to help them with all their needs, I’m going to burn out in a week."
It is a valid fear. You have quotas to hit. You have a calendar that is double-booked. You have limited resources. If "being outward" means saying "yes" to every request, then it is simply bad for business.
But the truth is: An outward mindset does not mean you do everything for everyone.
In fact, operating with an outward mindset often requires you to say "no," set firm boundaries, and hold people accountable. The difference isn't what you do (the action); it is how you see the person while you are doing it.
We often confuse being "outward" (seeing others as people) with being "nice" (pleasing others).
When we are focused on being "nice" or "liked," we are actually operating with an Inward Mindset. Why? Because our focus is on our image. We are worried about how we are perceived.
In Leadership and Self-Deception, Ana, a sales leader, realizes she avoided giving critical feedback to a team member because she wanted to be seen as a "likable manager". She wasn't helping her employee improve; she was protecting her own ego. That is not kindness; it is self-protection.
When you try to fix everyone’s problems to maintain your image as a "hero" or "fixer," you create bottlenecks and rob your team of growth.
In a conversation about this exact topic, a leader asked, "If you're seeing everyone around you as people, won't you get slammed with things you should do for them?".
The answer is: No.
You have limitations. You have competing priorities. No one has endless time or energy.
Staying open to the humanity of others does not mean carrying the weight of the world or ignoring your own needs. It does not mean you shouldn't prioritize.
It simply means that when you prioritize, you aren't doing it from a place of blame or self-justification.
Sometimes, the help a person needs is a long way from soft.
If you see your team members as people—capable human beings who need to grow—you realize that doing their work for them isn't helping. It is enabling.
Inward "Help": I do your work because I don't trust you, or because I want to look like the hero. (Result: You stay dependent, I get resentful).
Outward Help: I hold you accountable to the standard because I know you are capable, and the team relies on you. (Result: You grow, the team succeeds).
An outward mindset doesn't make people soft; it makes them smart. It allows you to see clearly what is actually needed. Sometimes what is needed is a resource. Sometimes what is needed is a reality check.
You can say "no" to a request while still seeing the person who asked it. Here is how to navigate limitations without turning inward:
1. Check Your Mindset First Are you saying "no" because they are an annoyance and you want them to go away (Inward)? Or are you saying "no" because you have other commitments that must be honored to support the wider team (Outward)?
2. Acknowledge the Need You can validate a person’s reality without taking on their burden. "I can see why this project is urgent for you, and I understand the pressure you are under." This simple acknowledgement keeps them human in your eyes.
3. Explain the "Why" (The Collective Focus) Explain your decision in the context of the bigger picture. "I can't commit to this meeting because I need to finish the Q3 report for the board, which protects our budget."
4. Point to Capability If someone is asking you to do their job, point them back to their own capability. "I trust you to handle this. I’m available for a 10-minute brainstorm, but you own the execution."
Q: Does an outward mindset apply to firing someone?
A: Yes. In fact, terminating an employee can be an outward act. If someone is struggling in a role where they cannot succeed, keeping them there (out of a desire to be "nice") hurts them, the team, and the customers. An outward leader can have a termination conversation that is direct, respectful, and focused on helping the person move to a role where they can actually excel.
Q: What if I’m just too busy to care about people?
A: Being busy isn't the same as being inward. You can be rushing to a meeting and unable to stop for a chat, but you can still see the person you are passing as a human being rather than an obstacle. Sometimes honoring your sense of others is as simple as offering a smile or a quick "I wish I could stop, but I’m late" rather than brushing past them with resentment.
Q: Can I hold people accountable without being a jerk?
A: Absolutely. In fact, true accountability is impossible without an outward mindset. If you are blaming someone, you aren't holding them accountable; you are just attacking them. When you see them as a person, you can say, "I need you to do better because I know you can, and the team needs you." That invites growth, not defensiveness.